Raise your hand if you compare yourself to others. Don’t worry. We all do. It’s a part of human nature. But while this is the case, it’s also possible to lessen its hold and learn how to stop comparing yourself to others. Because the truth is, social comparison doesn’t feel great. In fact, it feels terrible. So, let’s dive in and learn how to live in the present moment and love ourselves and our lives as is.
7 Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others
You’re probably already aware of how awful social comparison feels. While it’s occurring, your mind tends to travel to a dark place and create an onslaught of mean statements that make you question your position in life, job, and goals. But sadly, there are also more dangers it creates.
- Worsens depression and anxiety
- Negatively affects your self-esteem and confidence
- Creates increased stress
- Harms your immune system and general health
- Puts your ego in control and intensifies emotional reactivity
- Increases suicidal thoughts
- Transforms friends into allies and creates unrelenting jealousy
Thankfully, despite these dangers, it’s possible to reduce the power of comparison and, instead, grow gratitude for your life.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 8 Tips
1. Know your triggers
If you’ve been reading our mental health articles for a while, you may notice this tip is often included. And it’s for a good reason. We can’t learn how to stop bad habits that affect our health unless we dive deep into our psyche to discover the situations and events that provoke challenging emotions. In the case of social comparison, increase your awareness in everyday contexts. For example, while scrolling on social media, notice if you feel unworthy, insecure, or not enough when reading success stories or looking at photos of dream vacations. If so, limit how much you spend on social media and spend time tracking other contexts that create the same feelings.
2. Recognize the truth behind the reel
It’s time to drop a truth bomb. The highlight reel is just that: a feedback loop of consistently edited photos that show snippets of people’s lives, not the entire story. It’s unlikely to find influencers or others sharing the depths and darkness of their lives. They prefer to post glamor, happiness, and sparkle to drive their following and perhaps make themselves feel better. At the end of the day, we are all battling social comparison. It’s difficult to keep up with the rat race and not let the success of others affect us internally. Moreover, the algorithm encourages this behavior. So, take a step back from the screen and connect to yourself to remember that people aren’t on a dream vacation every second and not everyone is a millionaire at 25.
3. Focus on your strengths
When you’re knee-deep in a spiral of feeling like your life isn’t up to par with others, stop the chatter by focusing on your strengths. What do you love about yourself? Yet, if you’re feeling really low, it’s normal to struggle to think of things you like. So, don’t force it. Instead, go slow and pick one body part, a compliment you received that brightened your day, or a skill that makes you feel unstoppable. Whether it’s bringing smiles to others, connecting with animals, baking the best guilt-free desserts, or speaking French with a natural accent, acknowledge these gifts. You have them, but sometimes reflecting will allow you to recognize your unique beauty and power.
4. Let yourself feel
Social comparison creates an onset of difficult emotions. And we’re not always aware of how triggering a situation might be and the resulting emotions that arise. Therefore, to increase your awareness of how the world affects you subconsciously, tune into your body and ask yourself, “How do I feel at this very moment?” Then, label that emotion with a reason, “I feel unworthy because I’m not married with kids”. Allowing yourself to feel builds emotional regulation and gives you space to understand your emotions and the ability to practice ways to love yourself and your life more.
5. Practice gratitude
Like recognizing your strengths, learn how to stop comparing yourself to others by acknowledging the power of gratitude. Look at your life from a humble perspective and see how far you’ve come. You could even write yourself a letter to your past and future self and read them later to see how many things you’ve accomplished that you never thought possible when you were fifteen or younger. Challenging your perspective reminds you of the positives, especially your ability to achieve basic needs like fresh water, shelter, social support, and food. But beyond these, start counting the little things that also bring you joy; the smell of coffee, the sunrise, a beautiful flower, a hug from a loved one, a delicious meal, or the eagerness of a puppy running towards you.
6. Use comparison as motivation
Flip the script, and instead of letting comparison affect your mood, use it as motivation. In fact, comparison might not always be negative. It could be admiration in disguise that encourages you to adopt the same traits. For example, if you admire your friend’s kindness to strangers, learn from her and work towards opening doors for others, paying it forward, or offering compliments. Or, if you want to grow more passive income within your business, email an influencer or friend, and ask them for their advice. Use the opportunity to adopt habits that will increase your mental strength and achieve your goals.
7. Receive support
If you’re feeling down about your life, talk to a friend. They can offer an unbiased perspective that sometimes your inner critic won’t allow you to see, reminding you of the good. For example, if you’re upset about your job, they may provide empowering statements like “Remember when you never thought you could achieve this salary. Look at you now”. Remembering the goals you accomplished from a loved one who knows you well can uplift you and brighten your day no matter what your critic is saying. The power of support can trump many dark moments.
8. Acknowledge your ego
We all have an ego or inner critic that loves to sabotage opportunities, dampen beautiful moments, and shout cruel statements. And recognizing this voice and learning how to differentiate between its dialogue vs. your intuition will help you release from its chains. Yet the best way to do so is to practice mindfulness. Your ego can’t survive in the present moment. It needs you to ruminate about the past or worry about the future to live. So, remove its resources by meditating, mindfully eating, listening to a friend, moving your body, or practicing mindfulness activities you actually have time for. It will reduce comparison and build happiness.
Are you ready to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others? If so, follow these tips and remember how special you are. If your inner critic disagrees, challenge your intrusive thoughts, connect to the present moment, spend time away from social media, and connect to what matters; what makes you happy. Keep reminding yourself of the unstoppable, beautiful, and effervescent being you are!
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