Self-love. It’s a fun wellness buzzword that’s exciting to learn about but can feel slightly intimidating to apply to our lives. Yet, in this article, you’ll learn our favorite ways to love yourself more and how to shift your mindset, behaviors, and life quality to one that holistically radiates how much you love and appreciate yourself. Are you ready to love the person you are?
12 Insanely Easy Ways to Love Yourself More
1. Learn to say no
“No” is one of the most powerful and complete sentences to practice to honor and love yourself. You don’t need to provide an explanation or follow-up story if you choose to decline a request and prioritize your needs. Simply saying no allows you to draw healthy boundaries with toxic friends and stick to them. So, drop the people-pleasing and begin saying no to everything you don’t wish to do or have in your life. It’s your right and a vital part of your self-care.
2. Forgive yourself for past mistakes
While everyone knows the adage, “Everyone makes mistakes”, sometimes, the pressure to avoid failure becomes a louder voice than the one telling us, “It’s okay to fail”. However, a better way to forgive yourself for past mistakes is to change your mindset. For example, a growth mindset helps you see mistakes as opportunities for growth that help you on the path to success rather than as signs to give up. So, the next time your inner critic starts yelling at you for a past mistake, accept it and pivot to fill your life with failure. Failure is always worth it for the lessons you receive.
3. Drop the perfection
In the same vein, if you struggle accepting your mistakes, you could be struggling with perfection. It’s okay if you do, and you’re not alone. In fact, the majority of adults struggle with perfectionism. But since perfectionists are more prone to self-criticism, try to replace self-critical thoughts with more helpful ones to learn how to stop being a perfectionist. For example, “Making a mistake doesn’t mean I’m a failure. It means I’m human“, “It’s okay to not be happy all the time. I am allowed to have bad days“, and “It doesn’t define my worth if some people don’t like me. I like myself, and that’s what matters“.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparisonitis is alive and real, friends, especially on social media. It’s difficult not to get swept up by the highlight reel and compare your achievements with others. In fact, social comparison is a natural part of the human condition. However, so is self-awareness. Therefore, when you’re scrolling, or a friend shares their new promotion with you, look inward to determine what negative emotions are arising. This shift in awareness will allow you to process your emotions and empower you to focus on yourself and your journey.
5. Your worth does not hinge on your looks
Unfortunately, how we see ourselves externally can actually affirm our thoughts of low self-worth. But learning how to adopt the body neutrality approach and seeing your body as what it does for you instead of how it looks will empower you to take a less-pressurized approach. For example, your body is your life force. It fuels you, keeps you alive, and allows you to do what you love. There are days you will love it and days you might hate it. But on those days, remind yourself that your self-worth is not based on your external appearance. It encompasses so much more!
6. Take care of your mind and body
Of course, one of the best ways to love yourself more is to prioritize your emotional and physical health. The sleep we receive each night, the food we consume, and how we move our bodies all play a fundamental role in our self-love. Therefore, take every opportunity to meditate, process your emotions, overcome your fears, eat nourishing meals, and prioritize your favorite form of exercise. Also, if you want that extra slice of chocolate cake, go for it. The key is balance and how you treat and speak to yourself through every behavior.
7. Observe your inner dialogue
Our internal dialogue is the daily conversation our ego has with itself and affects how we treat ourselves and others and see the world. For example, when our mental conversations are negative and self-critical, we live and interact through this filter. However, when it’s uplifting and positive, nothing feels out of reach. And the best way to improve yours is by actively pausing throughout the day to notice the flow of your thoughts. If you detect your ego is being cruel, take a moment to breathe and ask, “How is my thinking helping me to achieve my goals and feel better about myself?” This one question will help you shift your ego.
8. Learn to ask for help
Asking for help is not easy, especially if we’ve been conditioned to rely on and only trust ourselves. Even Stanford University researched this and discovered we struggle to ask for help, even though people are naturally willing to help others through a battle with over-and under-estimation. For example, we underestimate their willingness to help and overestimate how much it will inconvenience them. But the best way to overcome this is to make it a habit. Start with small tasks and build your way up. Doing so will reduce your fear of what might happen if you ask and will empower you to trust others.
9. Pamper yourself
Put yourself and your needs first, and give yourself a little pampering. It may look like getting a haircut or receiving a massage, and if you’re on a budget, draw a bubble bath, make your favorite DIY mask, and give yourself a self-love massage. Doing so will remind you to go inward, prioritize your happiness, and relax. These are all fundamentals when learning to shift how you see yourself. After all, we all deserve a little break and luxury, especially when life gets in the way.
10. Date yourself
In the same respect, date yourself and go to dinner alone. Yes, alone. When you date yourself and break the myth you need a companion to have fun, you learn to trust and value yourself. It’s empowering to put your fears aside and go to your favorite restaurant and order a delicious meal with a cocktail alone. You don’t need a partner or friend to enjoy the experience of treating yourself.
11. Set goals
What do you want to achieve? Climb Mount Kilimanjaro, run a marathon, learn French, open a side hustle, or even drink more water throughout the week? Whatever your goal is, writing it down and drafting a plan to achieve it will increase the likelihood of success. In addition, as it relates to self-love, setting and achieving goals builds confidence and resilience and creates a positive mindset with failure. It also feels AMAZING to cross that goal off your list.
12. Prioritize what you love
Lastly, fill your life to the brim with everything you love. Whether it’s doing karaoke, teaching, making art, cooking, or dancing, do it, and don’t stop. When we prioritize what lights our soul on fire, we receive more fulfillment, vitality, and happiness. These benefits, in turn, increase our self-worth and, of course, self-love. And at the end of the day, your life is meant for living, so live in alignment with what pumps your beating heart.
After reading this list of ways to love yourself more, you may feel a little overwhelmed. But know that building your self-love is not an overnight fix. It takes picking one or two things that seem manageable and committing to them. And with time and a shift in mindset, self-love will begin to radiate from your heart. But you’re also human, so it’s okay to have days where you don’t feel your best. The important thing is to “Just keep swimming”, as Dory says…
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