It’s safe to say that when a wave of overwhelm or stress hits, many of us feel lost and probably without hope. But thankfully, you can practice a few self-soothing techniques for adults to change things around, improve your mindset, regain your sense of self, and feel relaxed. No matter what is happening.
What Does It Mean to ‘Self-Soothe’?
Self-soothing involves adopting habits or coping mechanisms that soothe and bring comfort following a stressor. For example, after arguing with your partner, you may grab a tub of ice cream and binge-Netflix to calm your nervous system and feel better. Unfortunately, while at work or in public, we can’t always run home and use our favorite de-stressors. We need to acquire self-soothing strategies that allow us to de-escalate and regulate our emotions in the here and now.
Why Is Self-Soothing Important?
When you learn how to self-soothe following a stressful or traumatic event, you subsequently decrease symptoms of anxiety, build your resilience, increase your ability to manage stress, and bask in the importance of the present moment. Additionally, you learn to cope with the pain or stressor as it’s happening instead of resulting in avoidance or other maladaptive coping mechanisms. All these benefits positively impact your mental and physical health, leading to more self-love and a generally happier outlook on life.
8 Self-Soothing Techniques for Adults
1. Give yourself a butterfly hug
Originally created as an EMDR therapy tool, the butterfly hug is an easy-to-follow soothing behavior to help you regulate stress anywhere. Here’s how to lean in and soothe yourself with a gentle hug.
- Cross your thumbs and hands across your chest or shoulders like the wings of a butterfly
- Keep your eyes either open or close and inhale deeply
- Hold your breath for a moment and exhale
- Then slowly alternate tapping each side of your chest (left, right, left, right) as if you were fluttering your hands
- As you’re tapping, you can also add powerful positive affirmations for women, like “I am safe” or “I am worthy”
- When you’re finished tapping, take one last deep breath in and check in with yourself. How do you feel? More relaxed and grounded?
2. Practice autogenic training
You’re probably already familiar with progressive muscle relaxation, but autogenic training is another relaxation technique that activates the mind-body connection by creating calming sensations through soothing statements. To help you relax, follow autogenic scripts or the steps below.
- Keep your eyes open or closed, and take a few deep breaths
- Then focus on your legs and repeat, “My legs are warm and heavy. I am completely relaxed”
- Repeat the same for your abdomen and arms
- Next, focus on your heartbeat and repeat, “My heartbeat is slow and steady. I am completely relaxed”
- After, move to your breath and repeat, “My breathing is slow and regular. I am completely relaxed”
- Picture sunlight warming your entire body as you work through the steps
- When you awake, ground yourself to the present moment by scanning the room and slowly moving your body
3. Validate your emotions
We are our own worst critics. As such, it’s common when we’re upset to feed the pain by repeating cruel statements. But try to break this habit by instead validating your emotions and turning your self-love up a notch. For example, label how you feel with comforting statements. “I feel upset right now, but it’s normal to feel this way, and I know I’m doing the best I can“. Afterward, place your hands over your heart and breathe through the overwhelm.
4. Listen to 432hz
Another self-soothing method that is easy to practice anywhere is listening to calming music. Indeed, if you’re stressed at work or feel overwhelmed, put on your favorite white noise, or even better listen to 432 frequency music. It provides a powerhouse of benefits such as unlocking your intuition, increasing your happiness, improving your sleep quality, and heightening your perception. Still not convinced? It also lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. Therefore, browse the thousand free playlists on YouTube or find your favorite 432hz app.
5. Hug a tree
While it may seem silly, hugging a tree may be one of the easiest self-soothing techniques and mindfulness activities that balances your nervous system and helps you reconnect to yourself. How? For starters, trees increase the love hormone oxytocin, which plays an important role in your trust, recognition, and emotional bonding. Additionally, they help you reduce stress and anxiety, improve immunity, and connect you to nature. So, go for a walk, or step into your backyard and wrap your arms around its trunk. Notice the texture, its temperature, the sounds you hear, and pleasant aromas, and allow its stability to anchor in the here and now.
6. Breathe through a box
Beloved Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Breath in deeply to bring your mind home to your body”. This quote refers to how powerful and beneficial it is to bridge your mind-body connection and use your breath as your guide to calm any stressful situation, thought, or emotion you’re encountering. You can follow breathing exercises for anxiety, like diaphragmatic or box breathing.
- Keep your eyes open or closed
- Place your hand on your heart and imagine a see-through box with a border and inhale and exhale through the box
- Or Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds.
- And relax for 4 (each side forms a square
7. Connect to your senses
Often food is a popular go-to to alleviate stress. But instead of gobbling down your favorite meal, why not mindfully cook it beforehand or slowly eat it? For example, if you love making easy and delicious pasta salad recipes, connect your senses to the process. Watch the bubbles form while your water is boiling, listen to the pasta drop in the water, focus on the colors of your vegetables as you chop them, and after each step, breathe in the aromas and flavors as you eat. This simple act is a form of self-care that soothes your soul, enhances your health, and relaxes you.
8. Walk barefoot
Did you know walking barefoot has been scientifically proven to improve your physical and mental health? It’s true. In fact, it leads to better sleep and reduced pain, increases antioxidant intake, and regulates your nervous system, plus many more benefits. When we forgo our shoes even briefly to connect to the earth, it allows us to focus on the world around us rather than the intensity of our stress or emotions, and this fun and mindful act soothes every part of our body and mind. So, take a few minutes to walk in your backyard or around your home and enjoy the calming experience.
Nobody likes looking within and dealing with unwanted thoughts, emotions, or stress as it’s happening in the here and now. But using self-soothing techniques for adults allows you to comfort yourself during a stressful period in a healthy manner that activates your parasympathetic nervous system while managing your pain. Yet, if you feel this list of tools is not helping, consider speaking to a mental health professional to discuss other strategies to assist you long-term.
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