If you consider yourself a perfectionist, you may be proud of your perfectionism tendencies. Or you may have started to realize that being ‘perfect’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Perfection takes a lot of effort and can result in heightened anxiety and stress, perfection paralysis, and burnout and exhaustion. It leads to impossibly high standards for yourself and others that can be detrimental to your health and relationships. Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. While perfectionism can help you achieve success in your life, it can also seriously affect and damage your wellbeing. If the negative effects have started to creep in, we’re sharing 7 helpful tips on how to overcome perfectionism.
14 Mental & Physical Consequences of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is characterized by setting unrealistic standards for yourself and believing that your worth is dependent on achieving those standards. Perfectionism can severely affect your mental and physical health. If you’re a perfectionist, you’re often in a state of high anxiety and stress. Our stress response is meant to be short-lived so that our bodies can recover, so when our stress response is prolonged, it’s very hard on the body’s major systems. Here are some of the mental and physical consequences of perfectionism:
- Stress and anxiety
- Depression
- Burnout and exhaustion
- Perfection paralysis
- Obsessive compulsive tendencies
- Low self-esteem
- Loneliness
- Relationship struggles
- Frustration and anger
- High blood pressure
- Increased risk of cardiovascular disease
- Weakened immune system
- Digestive problems
- Disordered eating
How to Overcome Perfectionism: 7 Tips to Help
1. Practice Self Compassion
Perfectionism is like a harsh inner critic that’s always telling you you’re not good enough. It’s important to practice self compassion and treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when things don’t go as planned. An important practice to increase your self compassion is mindfulness. Acknowledging and accepting how you feel without letting your feelings overpower you helps you stay compassionate with yourself. It’s important to respond to your self-critical thoughts with kindness instead of judgment. Mindfulness activities like deep breathing and meditation can help you be more gentle with yourself and overcome perfectionism.
2. Reduce Social Media Use
Social media is known to portray unrealistic standards and highlight reels. Whether it’s amazing career opportunities or perfectly curated homes, social media can skew our view on what’s considered ‘normal’. This can create increased pressure to be ‘perfect’ and achieve unrealistic standards. Try to reduce your social media use as much as possible. Unfollow accounts that don’t make you feel good, keep your phone out of sight for a few hours before you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning, and consider spending at least one weekend a month offline. Spending less time on social media will reduce stress, boost your mental health, and improve perfectionism tendencies.
3. Prioritize Self Care
Being kind to yourself and prioritizing self care will improve your mental and emotional well being. Self care doesn’t just mean going to the spa (although it can), it also means making healthier lifestyle choices like eating better, exercising more, and prioritizing sleep. These things can positively impact your physical and mental health. When it comes to broader self care, think about activities that make you feel relaxed and cared for, whether that means going for a light walk, lighting a candle and reading a book, or taking a yoga class with an amazing instructor. Do these things on the regular to help reduce stress and anxiety.
4. Work on Beating Procrastination
Procrastination is often a major symptom of perfectionism. You may always wait until you can ‘get it right’, ruminate on how it can be ‘perfect’, or you may have a huge fear of judgment that prevents you from starting. All of these can result in a lack of action and paralysis. It’s important to recognize that you’ve been putting off a task and understand the reasons why. Procrastination is a habit that needs to be broken. To help beat procrastination, commit to the task, create a to-do list, make a plan by putting times or dates on the key tasks on your list, avoid distractions, and change your environment, if needed, to get things done.
5. Enrol in Therapy
Therapy can work wonders for perfectionists. Therapy can help you understand the roots of your perfectionism and how it effects you, as well as identify strategies to overcome it. The thing is, perfectionism is a serious problem on its own, but it can also lead to other mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. A therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy can be super effective as it helps you identify negative thought patterns and helps you develop coping strategies.
6. Re-Frame Failure
Re-framing how you think about failure is a key part of overcoming perfectionism. Perfectionists often think that failure is the end of the world. But failure is a necessary part of life and is a key step to success. It helps us grow, become better, and learn from what went wrong. The reality is, it’s impossible to avoid failure, and trying to do so creates unnecessary stress and anxiety. Re-framing failure as a learning opportunity is key to overcoming perfectionism.
7. Read Self-Help Books
Self-help books on perfectionism are a great way to learn about yourself. They’ll help you understand the causes of perfectionism and strategies for calming your inner perfectionist. They provide practical techniques for developing self-compassion, embracing imperfections, and letting go of unrealistic expectations. We recommend books such as ‘The Gifts of Imperfection‘ by Brené Brown, ‘The Anxious Perfectionist‘ by Clarissa W. Ong and Michael P. Twohig, and ‘When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough‘ by Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson.
Perfectionism can cause mental and physical health problems that affect your everyday life. Try these tips to get your perfectionism under control.
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