Being a parent of a child with challenging needs can take a serious toll on your mental and physical health. Burnout is an ongoing state of feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, and emotionally drained, and for special needs parents it can lead to issues like insomnia, marital problems, extreme stress, and social isolation. Having a special needs child can be incredibly demanding and leave little time for self care and doing activities that bring you joy. However, it’s super important to fill your own cup in order to be the best parent for your child. Wondering how to avoid burnout as a special needs parent? Here are 7 tips to try.
5 Common Causes of Burnout in Special Needs Parents
1. Chronic stress
Caring for a child with special needs can be extremely stressful- physically, mentally, and emotionally. You have a lot of responsibility with little time for breaks or self care, which can take a huge toll.
2. Isolation
As a parent of a child with challenging behaviours or intense needs, you can often feel very alone. Friends, family, and co-workers don’t understand what you’re going through, and society doesn’t understand the challenges of raising a child with special needs. This can feel extremely isolating.
3. Exhaustion
Many parents of kids with special needs are completely exhausted due to the need to be caretakers 24/7. You may find it challenging to find childcare for a child with special needs, leaving you to take on 100% of the work and responsibilities.
4. Lack of time for self care
Self care is often one of the first sacrifices a parent makes, especially those with a special needs child. Constant demands and responsibilities can leave little to no time to take care of your personal needs, although it’s one of the most important things you can do.
5. Guilt and fear
Although it’s not your fault, it’s common for special needs parents to feel guilty about their child’s challenges, as well as fear for their future. They may feel conflict between their own needs and their child’s needs and may feel guilty about taking time for themselves.
13 Signs of Burnout in Special Needs Parents
- Changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia or excessive sleeping
- Anxiety and depression
- Chronic fatigue, even after rest
- Increased irritability
- Isolation and withdrawing from social interactions
- Extreme stress
- Marital problems
- Changes in appetite- over or under eating
- Headaches
- Joint and muscle pain
- Constantly getting sick
- Neglecting basic responsibilities
- Use of substances like alcohol or medication to cope
How to Avoid Burnout as a Special Needs Parent
1. Lean on Your Network
Let your family and friends be there for you. You don’t need to get to the end of your rope before you ask for help, and asking for help doesn’t make you weak. Asking your loved ones to help you with caregiving or daily chores can help you manage everything more effectively, reduce your load, and decrease your stress. If you child requires specialized care, ask loved ones to help with things like grocery runs, laundry, and preparing cooked meals.
2. Find Support Groups
Support groups for special needs parents can also be incredibly helpful. Use in-person or online community groups as well as social media platforms to connect with other special needs parents. This is a great way to find emotional support from others who share similar experiences. It’s nice to not have to explain, have a safe place to vent, and hear about advice and resources other parents have used.
3. Find “Me Time”
It’s important that you prioritize your wellbeing so that you can regain your strength and show up as the best parent you can be. Me time isn’t selfish, it’s actually necessary as a special needs parent. While it can be difficult to find time for yourself, make sure that you’re doing things that you enjoy that are relaxing and rejuvenating. Do a meditation, drink a cup of tea with a good book, go for a walk, or head to a Yoga class. Carving out time for yourself away from your child is so important as it reduces stress, improves your mood, and brings you back to yourself.
4. Make Time for a Social Life
Many parents of kids with special needs find they lose touch with friends and outside activities. Make sure you’re prioritizing yourselves as a couple by going on date nights and spending time alone, away from your kids. And make sure you spend time with friends as well. Having adult social interaction is extremely important and healthy, especially if you spend a lot of time with your child. You don’t need to do this every week if that feels like too much, but try at least once a month to get out and do something you enjoy (the more you can do it, the better!).
5. Prioritize Your Health
When you’re dealing with burnout, basic needs like drinking enough water and sleeping well can be a struggle. It’s important that you eat well, get enough sleep and exercise, and drink plenty of water throughout the day. Taking care of your basic needs will not only make you feel better physically and mentally, it also allows you to show up as your best self for your child. Don’t let these things fall by the wayside, they’re very important for overall wellness.
6. Seek Professional Mental Health Support
Being a special needs parent can be extremely overwhelming, confusing, and frustrating at times. While you may love your child more than anything in the world, it’s normal to be dealing with feelings such as guilt, fear, anger, and resentment. A professional therapist can help you understand and deal with your feelings and learn to cope with stress.
7. Go Easy on Yourself
Consider all the things that could make your life easier and give you more time to yourself. Maybe this means giving your child extra screen time, hiring a house cleaner or nanny, or using meal or grocery delivery services, if that’s within your budget. Take it one day at a time and don’t judge yourself for doing things that will make your life easier.
Burnout is common in special needs parents. Try these tips to fill your own cup and in turn, show up as the best version of yourself for your child.
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