Selective Mutism

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  • .⠀ ‘SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO LAY ON THE COUCH AND READ FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.’ —Unknown⠀ .⠀ As the world slowly starts to open up, I’m starting to think less about the never-ending list of things I need to do, and more about the things I want to do before contemplating some sort of return to normal. I see so many posts on social media where people are sharing the ways they are getting back into old hobbies, like photography, painting, doing puzzles, knitting, and playing instruments, and it makes me kind of sad. I have been so busy with work, homeschool, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and making sure my daughter is happy and entertained that I simply haven’t had time to do anything else. And for a long time, all that I really cared about was getting it all done. Staying on top of everything makes the Type A in me feel accomplished and in control, and being busy helps to keep my anxiety at bay. But as time wears on, I find myself worrying I’ll look back on this time and regret the books I didn’t read, the movies I didn’t watch, and the sleep I didn’t catch up on.⠀ .⠀ I know I’m not the only one feeling busier and more burnt out than ever these days, and wanted to remind everyone (myself included) that self-care isn’t selfish. While we may not be able to ask others for help the way we’re used to right now, we need to give ourselves permission to press pause every once in a while so we can show up well not just for the ones we love - but for ourselves too.⠀ .⠀ Here’s to leaving the dishes in the sink, ignoring the laundry, and doing something for ourselves this weekend! 🥂
  • .⠀ ‘VISUALIZE YOUR HIGHEST SELF AND START SHOWING UP AS HER.’ —Unknown⠀ .⠀ This is your Wednesday morning reminder to visualize the person you want to become so you can start turning your dreams into reality! 💫
  • .⠀ LIVING CUP TO CUP.⠀ .⠀ 👆🏻True story! ☕️
  • .⠀ ‘BE THE MOM YOU WANT THEM TO REMEMBER.’ —Unknown⠀ .⠀ Today marks 8 weeks since my daughter finished school for spring break, and while I desperately want our old lives back, a lot of good things have come from this experience. My attitude has completely changed, and I feel like I’m appreciating the little things in my life more, and letting go of all of the stuff that doesn’t serve me. I’m juggling way too much for my comfort level, but it’s forced me to be really intentional with my time and energy, and for that I am truly grateful. Each day I’m reminded what a fantastic team my husband and I are, and how well we compliment each other. It’s also made me see my daughter through an entirely new lens, and I’m so stinking proud of how she’s handled all of this. ⠀ .⠀ My one goal through this experience is to ensure that when she looks back at this time as an adult, all she remembers is feeling loved and safe and secure. Because honestly? That’s ALL that matters right now. Our kids won’t remember if the house was clean, how often they ate Kraft Dinner, or if we gained weight during this time. All they will remember is how we showed up for them - even on the days we were struggling to show up for ourselves.⠀ .⠀ Please stop feeling guilty about all of the things you feel you AREN’T doing, and focus instead on all of the things you ARE doing. I bet your list is a lot longer than you think it is. 💙
  • .⠀ ‘BE PRESENT WHERE YOUR FEET ARE.’ —Unknown⠀ .⠀ 👆🏻This is my new mantra.⠀ .⠀ For the first few weeks of quarantine, my mind was constantly racing with all of the things I felt I was neglecting. When I was focusing on figuring out our new homeschool schedule, I was stressing about all of the work stuff I wasn’t able to get to. When I was working, all I could think about was when I would find the time to dust, vacuum, scrub the toilets, and fold the never-ending pile of laundry in our basement. And when I was doing house stuff, I felt guilty that we weren’t doing crafts, learning a new language, making pancakes, and baking homemade bread.⠀ .⠀ I was constantly at war with myself for not doing enough and felt guilty 24/7 for all the ways I felt I was failing, and it wasn’t until I finally took a step back that I realized I wasn’t failing - I was just trying to do TOO MUCH. ⠀ .⠀ How many of you can relate?! 🙋‍♀️⠀ .⠀ I decided to end the madness, and now, each time I feel those familiar feelings of guilt starting to brew, I take a deep breath and remind myself to be present where my feet are. This allows me to give 100% of myself to whomever or whatever currently needs my attention, and while I still feel like I’m behind on absolutely EVERYTHING, it feels really good to give everything I have to ONE thing.⠀ .⠀ If you’re feeling overwhelmed with all of the stuff that is pulling at you right now, give yourself permission to let go of all of the guilt. Remember that you are only one person, and that this isn’t normal, nor is it easy. Instead of trying to juggle a million things half-heartedly, try giving everything you’ve got to one thing at a time. I think you’ll be surprised at how much lighter you feel. 🥰
  • .⠀ ‘ACTION CURES FEAR, INACTION CREATES TERROR.’ —Douglas Horton⠀ .⠀ I was on a group Zoom call last week and was surprised to hear how many other people dread going outside these days - even if it’s just to let their kids run around on their own property. I thought it was just me! Apart from spending a little time here and there in our backyard, I haven’t been outside of our house in over 4 weeks. I have been making so many excuses to stay indoors - I’m too busy, the weather is lousy, I’d rather walk on my treadmill, blah blah, etc. - but the truth is that I was afraid. And with each passing day, I grew MORE afraid.⠀ .⠀ On Saturday, I decided enough was enough, grabbed my headphones, and went for a solo walk around our neighborhood. There were many times I wanted to turn around and come back to the safety of our home, but I’ve been living with anxiety long enough to know that that was the exact opposite of what I needed to do. I made a promise to myself that I would stay outside for 45 minutes, and with each step I took, my anxiety grew quieter and by the time I got home, I felt lighter.⠀ .⠀ It was a good reminder not to allow fear to keep me from living my life and doing the things I love.⠀ .⠀ If you’re struggling today, remember that you aren’t alone. I promise you that even the strongest and most grounded people in your life are experiencing fear and sadness right now, even if they don’t show it. ⠀ .⠀ It’s okay not to be okay.⠀ .⠀ We’re all in this together. 💙
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