If you have children at home with differing needs, it’s important to acknowledge how one child’s special needs can impact the other children in the family. It can garner a lot of the parents’ attention, restrict family activities, and generate stress and concern among the typical siblings. While some kids take care of themselves, try to be extra good and not get in the way, others may start acting out and doing things to try to get attention. It can be confusing for kids to understand what’s going on, so it’s important to help them understand and empathize, as well as show them love. Take a look at how to support siblings of kids with special needs.
9 Ways to Support Siblings of Kids with Special Needs
1. Help Them Understand Their Sibling’s Unique Needs
It’s important that the other children in your family understand what’s going on and get any questions answered. You should clearly explain to them at an age-appropriate level the unique needs of their sibling and describe any behaviour that kids might find concerning, letting them know that they’re not doing it purposefully. Creating an open line of communication around the disorder or disability will help normalize it, foster empathy, and minimize confusion. Make sure the typical child knows that it wasn’t caused by something they did and isn’t something they can “catch”.
2. Discuss Their Feelings
If you have one child that requires extra care and attention, it’s possible that your other child may feel left out or unsupported. Take time to chat with them on a regular basis and ensure they feel comfortable discussing their feelings with you. Typical siblings may experience emotions ranging from love and pride to frustration and guilt. It’s important for parents to listen to their concerns without judgment and reassure them that you hear them and that you love them.
3. Set Time Aside for Each Child
Another important thing you can do is ensure you’re setting aside time for each child, especially if you notice you’ve been spending more time with your child with special needs. All children need one-on-one time with parents, and even small amounts of time on a regular basis can help a child feel loved and cared for. On busier weeks, this may mean spending 10-15 minutes with them reading a book before they go to sleep. But consider also creating rituals like one-in-one dates or mini trips with each kid.
4. Promote a Strong Relationship Between Siblings
Depending on the special needs of your child, it can potentially make sibling bonding more difficult. If that’s the case, try to create opportunities for the siblings to play together or enjoy common interests. This could mean doing a puzzle, baking together, or playing board games. These simple activities can boost the quality and quantity of their interactions and strengthen their sibling bond. Doing things as a family can also help foster the sibling relationship.
5. Celebrate Their Achievements
Make a point to celebrate the accomplishments of all your children, not just those with special needs. When you have a child that requires more support and encouragement, the other children can feel like they’re not getting as much praise as their sibling. Spreading your love and support around ensures all your kids feel recognized and valued for their efforts and achievements.
6. Enjoy Trips and Relaxation
When you have a child with special needs, family activities or trips can be more difficult. But this shouldn’t stop you from enjoying life together. Plan activities everyone can enjoy together, as well as ones that are customized to the typical sibling’s interests. This will make them feel special, and involving them in the planning will help them feel respected. It’s important for your family life to include joy and relaxation and these experiences will strengthen the family and sibling bond.
7. Promote Hobbies and Interests
Help the typical siblings find their own hobbies and interests that they enjoy and make them feel good. This will build up their resistance and independence, while also providing a way for you to support them. Nurture their individual growth and show an interest in what they’re doing. Take them to rehearsals, help them practice at home, and go to their performances. Whether it’s rock climbing, ballet, soccer, or guitar, encouraging individual interests will help them feel more balanced and supported within the family.
8. Treat Everyone The Same
Although it can be difficult at times, it’s really important to try to treat all of your children the same and not give special attention and leniencies to the one who struggles more. Sometimes parents feel guilty that their child isn’t getting a “normal” upbringing, so they let them get away with bad behaviour or have whatever they want. However, all children need to learn that they’re responsible for their actions and that there are consequences for bad manners and behaviours. The rules and discipline should be the same for every child in your household.
9. Encourage Peer Support
It can be really helpful for siblings of kids with special needs to talk to other kids in the same boat. It’s important for them to connect with others who may have similar experiences to them. Look for sibling support groups they can join, as this can provide a great outlet for talking about their challenges and successes with those who completely understand. It can make them feel heard and can also foster friendships outside the home.
Having children with different needs can take a toll on the entire family. Ensuring that each child feels support from you will ensure they feel loved, build their resilience, and boost their self-esteem.
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