There are times in everyone’s life when it’s natural to feel sorry for yourself. It’s one thing to feel down on your luck, but it’s another to wallow in the cycle of self-pity. Throwing a pity party is rarely beneficial, in fact, feeling sorry for yourself on a regular basis can be incredibly destructive. It keeps you stuck, prevents you from achieving your goals, and can ruin your relationships. If you find yourself falling into the cycle of self-pity more often than you’d like, it’s important to build your mental strength and make positive changes in your life. Here are eight ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself and live a happier life.
9 Signs You’re Feeling Sorry For Yourself
- You feel preoccupied with your own troubles/problems
- You often think “why do bad things always happen to ME?”
- You mentally put yourself in a powerless position and feel like you’re a victim
- You experience feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
- You exaggerate your misfortune
- You believe any effort you put into changing your circumstances will be pointless
- You’re stuck in a negative headspace
- You’re constantly complaining about the unfairness of your life/circumstances
- You think that people don’t like you
8 Ways to Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
1. Practice Gratitude
Instead of focusing on the things that are going wrong in your life, take time each day to express gratitude for the things you do have. Did you wake up in a warm bed? Eat a home cooked meal? Talk to your friend on the phone? Focus on these small moments of enjoyment as experiences you can be grateful for.
Gratitude not only helps you focus on the positive things in your life, it also influences your overall well being, including your social, emotional, and psychological health. Write down five to 10 things you’re grateful for every day when you wake up or go to bed and see what a difference it can make.
2. Prioritize Physical Activity
Physical activity is amazing for both your mental and physical health. If you’re feeling down or in a negative headspace, prioritize moving your body. Get outside for a walk, take a yoga class, go for a bike ride, or join a friend at a fitness class. It could be the last thing you feel like doing, but it will make a world of a difference.
Exercise reduces anxiety and low mood, and increases energy, mental alertness, and happiness. It’s one of the best ways to feel better and improve your mental health, and can help you get out of a self-pity funk.
3. Replace Self-Pity with Action
When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, it’s easy to sit in self-pity and feel stuck. It can feel good to blame the world for your problems, but what you should do instead is take action and do something about it.
Think about the action you need to take to get you out of the situation you don’t want to be in. For example, if you’re unhappy at your job, instead of complaining and feeling bad for yourself, think about the skills and expertise you have and make a plan to start applying for other jobs. If you don’t have certain skills, research courses you can take to learn and upgrade your skills. There’s always a way out of your current situation, but you have to be willing to take action and make changes.
4. Start Journaling
Adopt a morning journaling routine to help you understand where your feelings are coming from. One of the worst things you can do is bury your feelings- it’s important to acknowledge them and face them head on.
One way to do this is with a feelings journal. Every morning, sit down, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. Acknowledge what you’re feeling in the moment and write down everything that comes up. You may also identify helpful patterns, like feeling worse when you stay up binging Netflix, or having anxiety on Monday mornings. When you recognize what’s going on it can help you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and make changes to feel better.
5. Catch Yourself When You Complain
People who feel sorry for themselves often vent to other people about their problems, which only fuels feelings of self-pity. Instead of trying to gain sympathy from others by complaining about your situation, use your energy to make changes in your life. Take action to make things better for yourself or work on accepting situations you can’t change. Complaining will only strengthen the cycle of self-pity.
6. Seek Support
Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or a therapist, can help you process your feelings and provide you with support and encouragement to overcome self-pity. You want to make sure that when you’re talking to them, you’re not just complaining about your problems and are actively trying to better your situation. Breaking the cycle of self-pity can take time and effort- don’t be too hard on yourself if it’s taking a while or you fall back into bad habits now and again. Keep working with your support system and taking small steps toward a happier life.
7. Build Your Mental Strength
Just like your physical strength, your mental strength can be built up. Developing mental strength requires you to create good habits and give up destructive ones, like self-pity. Going to bed early, reading, exercising, building supportive relationships, and practicing self care are all things you can do to build your mental strength. Being able to regulate your thoughts and manage your emotions, no matter your circumstances, will help you become stronger.
8. Pick Up a Hobby
When you’re taking part in an activity you enjoy, you’re much less likely to be thinking about all the ways the world has wronged you. There are so many benefits of having a hobby, from lowering stress levels to boosting creativity and enhancing your mood. Hobbies offer new challenges and experiences and also open you up to a community of people with shared interests. By actively engaging in an activity that brings you joy, you can break the cycle of self-pity and eventually stop it from happening altogether.
Try these tips to stop feeling sorry for yourself and work towards a more satisfying life.
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