If you have a child with ADHD, you may have noticed that they have a hard time regulating their emotions. This may manifest in intense, frequent outbursts, irritability, and even aggression. Emotional dysregulation is increasingly recognized as a key component of ADHD, so it’s important to help your child learn to regulate their emotions. From creating stable routines to engaging in mindfulness strategies, and building their emotional coping skills, here are 7 ways to improve emotional regulation in kids with ADHD.
What Is ADHD?
ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. A person with ADHD has differences in brain development and brain activity that affect attention, the ability to sit still, and self-control. It’s one of the most common mental health disorders in children. ADHD was once considered much more common in boys, however, more recent research shows that ADHD presents differently in girls, so it has been vastly under diagnosed in females.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. It’s the ability to practice control over one’s emotional state and can include behaviours like changing how you think about a situation to reduce anxiety and anger, and focusing on reasons to feel happy and calm. Since ADHD affects the brain mechanisms that help manage emotions, emotional regulation development is delayed. Emotion hits those with ADHD more quickly and more intensely.
10 Signs of Emotional Dysregulation in Kids with ADHD
- Irritability
- Intense mood swings
- Emotional outbursts and intense emotional reactions
- Aggression
- Low tolerance for frustration
- Difficulty calming down after an emotional reaction
- Becoming overly excited
- Frequent negative moods
- Overly sensitive to criticism or perceived rejection
- Trouble maintaining friendships
7 Ways to Improve Emotional Regulation in Kids with ADHD
1. Help Them Work Out Their Feelings
One of the best things you can do to help children in general is to talk to them openly about emotions and make sure they know they have a safe space talking to you about their feelings. When kids understand their feelings, they can start to identify their own emotions and put them into words. Over time, this can help them react with words instead of emotion and aggression. It’s helpful to talk about your own emotions and label them correctly, and always encourage them to talk about what they’re feeling (at the appropriate time). It’s important that they know all feelings are normal and accepted, so steer away from saying things like “that shouldn’t make you sad” or “don’t be angry about that”.
2. Create a Gratitude Practice
Gratitude is a really great emotion to practice for kids with ADHD. It helps build persistence and empathy, and builds joy and contentment while reducing anxiety and depression. It can help prevent emotional overreactions and build delayed gratification. Consider creating a family gratitude ritual, like sharing 3 things you’re grateful for at the dinner table each night. You can also make a gratitude jar where they write down what they’re grateful for each day. Encourage them to write thank-you notes too. Of course this is important when they receive a gift, but they can also send notes of appreciation to people who have helped them throughout the week.
3. Provide Stability and Consistency
Consistent limits, stable routines, and clear household rules are increasingly important for kids with ADHD. Predictability will help them stay focused, reduce impulsivity, and improve their organization skills. Routines are great because they provide a sense of stability and reduce stress and anxiety. They can help your child feel more in control and reduce the likelihood of emotional outbursts or tantrums.
4. Promote Prideful Activities
When you feel proud, you’re motivated to work harder. This goes for kids too. Pride promotes self-control, effort, and perseverance, which are helpful skills to have for kids who struggle with emotional regulation. There are a number of ways to help build pride in kids. Help them find something that interests them and let them be an expert in it. This could be dog walking, playing an instrument, crafts, dance, or sports. It’s important they find something they’re good at and enjoy doing. You can also give them an important job to do, such as helping you cook or assisting you in the garden. When they feel like they’re contributing in a meaningful way, it gives them a sense of purpose.
5. Mindfulness and Calming Strategies
Mindfulness is extremely important as it can strengthen areas of the brain responsible for attention, emotional control, and problem solving. It can also help your child feel less anxious and stressed. Mindfulness and calming strategies can include deep breathing, listening to calming sounds, mindful colouring, and yoga. Set up a special place for your mindfulness practice using cushions to sit on or yoga mats. It should be a space away from distractions and it’s ideal to do mindfulness practices as a family if you can.
6. Model Good Behaviour
Kids, especially young kids, often learn by modelling what their parents do. It’s really important for you to regulate your emotions when interacting with your kids or if your kids are watching you interact with others. For example, you can show your child how you keep calm during frustrating or disappointing experiences, or you may use deep breathing to manage your emotions when you feel anxious. Over time, this will help them learn that an outburst is not the appropriate reaction to that same feeling.
7. Encourage Healthy Habits
Healthy habits like eating well, getting enough sleep, and regular exercise are essential. Children with ADHD should be getting at least an hour of physical activity each day, which can include walking, playing sports, dancing, or martial arts. Make sure they’re eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. They should also have adequate fluid intake daily. They also need to get the proper amount of sleep each night, depending on their age. Make sure they have a consistent bedtime, limited screen time, and create a calling bedtime routine. These habits can help your child feel their best and manage their emotional regulation.
If you have a child with ADHD, use these tips to help them regulate their emotions.
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