Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is much more common in girls and women than was originally thought. Girls’ less disruptive symptoms are often overlooked, leading many females to go undiagnosed for most or all of their life. It’s becoming increasingly common for moms to find out that they have ADHD that wasn’t diagnosed in childhood. The consequences of this affect every aspect of their life from parenting to their job, relationships, household responsibilities and more. Here are the risks of untreated ADHD in moms and how to go about getting a diagnosis if you think you have the disorder.
Why Is ADHD Missed in Girls and Women?
Boys are more than twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than girls. This isn’t because they’re more predisposed to it, they’re symptoms are just more noticeable. Boys are more likely to show hyperactive/impulsive symptoms of ADHD like excessive fidgeting, interrupting, and constant talking. These overt signs of the disorder disrupt their environment and the people around them.
Girls are more likely to present with inattentiveness and symptoms like forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, and making careless mistakes. Their symptoms usually cause no noticeable disturbances in their surroundings, causing them to be overlooked. Females are also more likely to “mask” their symptoms to fit in with societal expectations or overcompensate to cover up their symptoms. This can lead to their ADHD symptoms being dismissed or attributed to other factors, such as anxiety.
Due to this, girls often go their whole childhood being undiagnosed and untreated for ADHD. As they live more of their life with untreated ADHD, their ability to cope becomes more difficult and the disorder affects pretty much every aspect of their life. Symptoms often become even more prominent if they decide to become parents.
7 Risks of Untreated ADHD in Moms
1. Conflicts with Children and Spouse
Difficulty managing emotions and impulses, as well as communication problems, can lead to increased conflicts with your kids and spouse. Untreated ADHD can lead to heightened reactive emotions, lowering your frustration tolerance, and leading to impatience and outbursts.
2. Time Management and Organization Difficulties
Struggles with time management and organization can lead to difficulty keeping up with your children’s schedules, getting them to school and activities on time, and planning activities and events. It can also result in trouble managing household tasks. All of these can lead to feelings of frustration and inadequacy.
3. Overwhelm and Burnout
Burnout is common for all moms, but for those with untreated ADHD, the demands of parenting can feel almost impossible. This can lead to feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and emotional dysregulation. Moms with ADHD are more likely to feel overwhelmed by everyday stressors and find it harder to balance and gain control over their lives.
4. Feelings of Inadequacy
You may see other moms juggling their kids’ activities and appointments, planning birthday parties, and balancing work and home life with ease. Or you may wonder why it’s so hard for you to get through mundane household tasks. ADHD symptoms can make parenting responsibilities that much harder, and without a diagnosis and treatment, you’re left with feelings of inadequacy and wondering what’s wrong with you. You also may be hard on yourself for not being able to handle your emotions or deal with your kids’ emotions in a healthier way.
5. Mental Health and Substance Issues
Mothers with untreated ADHD are at an increased risk of mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. The challenges of parenting mixed with low confidence in their parenting abilities can sometimes be too much to bear. Because of this, they also face a heightened risk of substance abuse to cope with stress and manage symptoms.
6. Job Instability
Responsibilities at home and work can be extremely overwhelming for moms in general, and if you have untreated ADHD, these issues are intensified. Difficulties with focusing, perfectionism, time management and finishing tasks can lead to an increase in job instability and loss of employment. Lower productivity can also result in missed opportunities for promotions and raises. Feeling unable to balance parenting and work often causes emotional dysregulation, which can impact your work and mom life.
7. Consequences for Children
Untreated ADHD can also impact your children. They may exhibit more behavioural problems due to inconsistent parenting and discipline. They may also have more difficulty with academic performance and experience struggles with social interaction. They could have trouble with regulating their emotions and are at a higher risk of mental health and substance abuse issues.
What To Do If You Think You Have ADHD
1. Educate Yourself
If you notice you have trouble with focusing, remembering things, organization, and other related symptoms, educate yourself about ADHD. Also consider symptoms such as low self-esteem and mood, poor impulse control, and heightened anxiety due to a lack of being able to manage stressors in every aspect of life. It’s important to get treatment as early as possible, so if you notice you’ve been dealing with these symptoms, seek out a diagnosis.
2. Talk to Your Doctor
If you think you may have ADHD, book an appointment with your primary care provider. They can evaluate your symptoms and help you figure out if you meet the criteria for a diagnosis. They may refer you to a specialist. To be diagnosed, you’ll have to complete a comprehensive assessment with interviews and questionnaires. They may also talk to friends and family. It’s important to be open and honest about your symptoms and concerns so you can be properly diagnosed and start treatment if needed.
3. Consider Medication
If you’re diagnosed with ADHD, your healthcare provider may suggest medication. There are a few different types used to treat ADHD by affecting the levels of certain neurotransmitters. Medications include stimulants such as Ritalin and Adderall, non-stimulants, like Strattera and Kapvay, and antidepressants such as Wellbutrin and Norpramin. It’s important to work with your doctor to figure out the best medication for you.
4. Start Therapy
Therapy with a professional who specializes in ADHD can be extremely helpful, not only for managing your symptoms, but to help you deal with emotional fallout from living with undiagnosed ADHD. Moms with ADHD often benefit significantly from therapy as it not only helps them personally, but can help their relationship with their children too.
Untreated ADHD can have significant consequences for moms and their children. Getting a diagnosis as early as possible is key to getting treatment and thriving with ADHD.
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