I Discovered Starbucks. Crap.


Alright, I’m peeing my pants a little over here. Okay, a lot. The fabulous Meredith over at The Mom of the Year is guest-posting on my site today!

I’m sure most (if not all) of you know Meredith by now, but if you don’t, you’ll fall in love with her after reading her post. There’s just something so REAL about her, and every time I’m over on her blog, I instantly feel like there’s someone else on this crazy ride called motherhood who GETS me. Meredith has also become an amazing friend over the last few months, and I really hope I get a chance to grab a Vanilla Latte with her one day.

I’m pretty sure you will, too.

Cloudy with a Chance of Wine is one of my absolute favorite places to check in. Dani’s funny. She’s witty. She’s smart. She’s an amazing. But above all, every time I read her blog, I find myself saying “Me too!” From everything from swim lessons to shopping for non-mom jeans, she’s been there and she’s making me laugh about it. My only beef with her is that she refuses to live in my town so we can hang out all the time and I can make her be my real life BFF. Really, so incredibly selfish of her…

Anyway, the other day I was hitting the errand run, hightailing it to my new favorite establishment, Starbucks, when the depths of my fancy coffee obsession hit me. I knew I had to share this with Dani. She would totally get this. Since she humors me, she might even put it on her blog and some of her really cool readers would get it too.

Grab a cup of coffee and read on, my friends…

There she is. My sweet little latte in all her perfection.

I was a rockstar about holding out for so long. Soooo long. The sweet carrot of caffeinated perfection has been dangling in front of my nose for years, but I have managed to resist. Until now. And now I’m fleeing with the masses through the hallowed coffeehouse doors. How fast can you say “Skinny Vanilla Latte and two sugary cake pops to go STAT”?

In my pre-kid glory days, I actually visited a friend in Seattle and we went to the original Starbucks, founded in 1971. Despite coming face-to-face with the origin of this Mecca, I still didn’t drink the Kool-Aid. Money was tight, really tight, so fantastic beverages just didn’t figure in. But then our life as a family experienced the great equalizer of human experience: my son started preschool. Suddenly, I had a window. A short, two-hour window with my daughter still in tow, but it was a window. It was a slot of time to run the crap out of errands with only one kid. So I started running. On the way to my running, there was too, too conveniently a Starbucks WITH A DRIVE-THROUGH. Crap. Double crap.

It started innocently enough. One dreary cold fall day, the vision of a latte somehow got in my head and I thought, “Just this once…” 160 calories and a delicious cup of steamy bliss later, I was a goner. That lone visit somehow became semi-regular. Rather, very regular.

I wouldn’t say that I personally support the entire Starbucks industry, but I would suggest watching out if Mommy doesn’t get her hands on her weekly treat. Throw in the convenience of the drive-through and the fact that I can bribe my kids to do almost anything with the promise of one of those insanely tasty birthday cake pops, and I think we’ve got a definite addiction on our hands.

Here’s why I’m not going to stop raising my morning cup in cheers to Starbucks any time soon.

1. Saying, “I went to Starbucks this morning” makes me sound semi-hip and relevant. Lord knows my pitiful social media presence isn’t doing that for me.

2. The coffee is hot. It’s cold outside. For a few blissful moments, I get to feel warm and pretend that Pennsylvania has somehow booted itself way closer to the Equator.

3. Tackling that indomitable pile of laundry vs. going for a fresh cup of java….mmmh. That’s a hard one.

4. I try to save wine for the pm hours.

5. Did I mention they have a drive through? Young kids + car seats makes this not convenient, but a Godsend.

6. Our local nap store has yet to open. You know, the one where you pop by and pay a few bucks for a quick, refreshing nap? In the meantime, a caffeine hit must suffice.

7. Skinny vanilla lattes = winter dieter’s nectar of the gods.

8. The employees smile at me when handing me my coffee and have never once hysterically begged me to refill their juice cup. Yes, they are paid to be nice to me, but I’m cheap and will take pleasantries wherever I can find them.

9. Hold the phone. They have a rewards program which will allow me to gain that false sense that I am saving money the more I actually spend? I just love me a bargain.

10. It’s good. Like, really good. Darnit, now I really want to make a Starbucks run…

Some ladies may drool for fancy jewelry or gorgeous flowers. Not this lady. Pass me my cup of joe and one of those nifty coffee cup sleeves, and I’ll be swooning my morning away.

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