If you’re looking for practical anger management tips for moms to help you keep your cool on even your roughest days, you’ve come to the right place!
While being a parent is the most rewarding job you’ll ever have, it’s also one of the most difficult, and it often seems our children go to great lengths to test our patience. Whether they’re throwing a temper tantrum because we won’t buy them something at the mall, throwing an attitude when we ask them to clean their rooms, or showing signs of general disrespect, motherhood can leave even the calmest mother feeling frazzled.
Of course, our job as parents is to be good role models for our children – to showcase what healthy adult behavior is supposed to look like – and learning how to parent without anger is more important than we might think. If we can get a handle on our own behaviors and reactions, and demonstrate how to stay calm when angry, we can model healthy behaviors to our own children, giving them the tools they need to build and maintain successful relationships in the future.
Learn how to spot unhealthy parenting patterns and control your anger so you can parent from a place of strength and calmness with this list of 5 anger management tips for moms!
Examine Your Home Dynamic
The next time your child gets angry, pay attention. Some of the things your children do may simply be childish behavior, but if you look closely, you may find you see a bit of your own behavior reflecting back at you. Our children mimic us every chance they get, and if we want to teach them how to conduct themselves appropriately, we must first take ownership of our own negative tendencies. Angry moms raise angry kids who grow up to be angry adults, so if we want to break the cycle, we must start with ourselves first.
Do Some Introspection
We live in a day and age where are encouraged to over-schedule our lives and burn ourselves out, and when we find ourselves getting angry more easily than normal, sometimes the best thing we can do is take a personal time out. Sit alone for ten to twenty minutes with a notepad and list all of the things that you’re upset about or that are currently bothering you. You may realize that something has been brewing below the surface, affecting your behavior without you even noticing. If your anger issues run much deeper as a result of being raised by angry parents yourself, make a pledge to stop the cycle and develop healthier parenting patterns. Consider self-help books (Peaceful Parent, Happy Child by Dr. Laura Markham is a great one to start with), join a local support group, and don’t be afraid to seek out therapy. You and your family are worth it!
Stop Taking Things Personally
When your children misbehave, it can be easy to take it personally. Disobedience, sass, and childish behaviors can grate on our nerves and cause us to react negatively, but we must rise above and demonstrate healthy and positive ways in which to react to and interact with others. Stop viewing your child’s behaviors as a personal attack on you and lashing out in retaliation. Remind yourself that you are the adult in the relationship with your children, and that the way you respond to their behaviors will mold how they respond to others. Take a deep breath, count to ten, go for a walk, meditate, or do whatever it is you need to do to calm down and handle the situation appropriately.
Take Care of Yourself
Exercise, meditation, and keeping a gratitude journal are all wonderful ways to help you stay healthy mentally and physically. Develop a healthy routine of spending time journaling or meditating, processing emotions, and studying for personal growth. Take a personal inventory of the state of things in your life and some of the areas you want to improve. Decide you want to learn how to be less angry, or how to better cope when presented with difficult situations. A regular exercise routine can work wonders in helping you develop peace of mind and a healthy body that is mentally ready for the challenge of motherhood.
Make sure there are periods of calm and relaxation in your life. Even if you have to put your kids to bed early, wake up 30 minutes before the rest of your household, or hire a babysitter, ensuring you are able to pursue your own interests will help cut down on resentment, and make you a more healthy and devoted parent.
Practice Calming Techniques
Be aware of the situations, events, and things your child does that usually cause you to feel angry. When you sense yourself starting to tense up or you start to feel feelings of irritability or anger, try using some calming techniques. Take slow, deep breaths while you gather your thoughts. By taking a few minutes to calm down, you will find your response is based less on emotions and more on logic and what’s best for your child.
By realizing how anger affects your parenting and negatively influences your children, you can be motivated to implement healthy habits and strategies to help you stay calm and parent more effectively. If you have a bad day, cut yourself some slack, make a plan to get back on track, and try again. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and adjusting your parenting techniques can – and will – take time.
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